Not Content With the Waiting....

While I wait to finalize the location of my immediate future, my training is definitely not on hold. In fact, I feel like I'm progressing faster than ever. Last week I managed to finally master a drill that my 14 years of gymnastics has been getting in the way of the last couple of years. Once I got that drill, it really did feel like a lot of things clicked. Right away I was able to get some pretty significant improvement in my short run vaults. I had one great day vaulting with the high school group in town. Then I had a couple of up and down days where the troubles can be blamed only on myself. For some reason I had convinced myself that my normal starting step was a foot back from where it actually was. So I ran through several times because it felt very off, of course since I was at least a foot out. Thinking I was just having an off day, I tried to make it work refusing to let myself give in and move up. But now that I have established myself as a complete idiot, I'm looking forward to my next vaulting day where I get to leave those silly mistakes behind me. I will have a lot more to combat next time, since it will be my first day vaulting outside this season!! Exciting times! In the meantime, it's back to the tentative moving plans that I must say are looking much more definite. I may be in Knoxville by the start of next month!

Big Changes? Or No Changes?

It's been a while. But the last couple of weeks have been really hectic, I don't really know how to make sense of it myself. The indoor season ended with a final meet at App State. Overall it wasn't a bad meet, I definitely jumped better than I had at a meet all season. But it wasn't good enough. I had really high hopes heading into the indoor season. It was my third year in a row thinking I had a shot at getting to indoor nationals, and for the third time I wasn't close. This year is definitely different, I am much more confident in my jumping. And technically it is finally starting to feel like it's coming together. But it's just too late.

After my last meet, my coach and I met to discuss the plans for the outdoor season. I knew in the fall that the end of the indoor season could bring some big changes to my life, and it's looking like I was right. I was given a choice: I could stay in my current training situation in Boone (which, lets be honest is very very good) or I could move to Knoxville and train there. It really was a HUGE decision that I didn't take lightly. I made my choice to leave Boone and head back to Tennessee. There are many bonuses in Knoxville, but the biggest deciding factor for me was really my vaulting. I have been training in Boone for two and a half years now. I truly appreciate how far I have come, and I can't say thank you enough to everyone that has helped me here. Meeting Daniel and getting to train with him has truly changed my life. And I won't necessarily be leaving him behind as a coach, he will still be involved. But I do feel like I need a big change. I have become very comfortable with the training here, which can be a good thing. But I feel like I am getting a little complacent. I am letting myself get away with some things in my training that I am not happy with. Knoxville is scary, I really have no idea what it will hold for me. There are so many unknowns. But I think that getting myself out of my comfort zone could be the best thing for me. I know my vaulting is progressing, but I need to find a way to push past what I'm used to and finally make that breakthrough.

Once the stress of making my decision was over, I had a couple of days to get somewhat excited about the move before it felt like the bottom dropped out on it. The situation has changed, in the end it is definitely for the best. But it puts my immediate future totally up in the air. The pieces aren't coming together in Knoxville like I originally thought. It is frustrating for me, because I am the type of person that doesn't really waver on decisions once they are made. Other than vaulting there are a lot of things hanging in the balance like jobs, a place to live, and all the other things that come along with a big move. I had started informing people in town I was leaving last week. And I spent the weekend looking for apartments and scoping out Knoxville with friends. So if it turns out I am not moving I am going to feel like a pretty big fool. The most stressful part for me is that I feel out of the loop and like the situation is out of my control. It is not a situation that I do not like to be in and I am definitely losing a lot of sleep over it. My biggest fear is that this will drag on and have a negative impact on my outdoor season. All I can do now is assume I'll be moving soon and keep planning along those lines. Hopefully it will all come together in time...